Comic Cuts - 1 July 2011

Readers following the rambling and (seemingly) neverending saga of my computer will be pleased to hear that the end is in sight — and it has a happy ending. We won't be skipping off into the sunset, but I'm happy with the new machine.

The bulk of the work of migrating everything from one machine (the old one in the pic above) to the new one took place over the weekend. The bit of wire I picked

If I Had a Dog...

I would teach my dog to do this trick! This is one youtube mini flick you got to see...It's probably a classic!

Now your concerned, if your sun tanning safe, would there be a canine hiding in the bushes. Hahahaha!!!

Review: Ninja Gaiden

Ask ten people what the hardest game they've ever played is. Chances are more than half of them will say Ninja Gaiden. This game was massively popular when I was a kid, and was a frequent Friday night rental. It was only as an adult that I could appreciate how challenging this game can be. At the same time, being older and wiser has allowed me to see how well this game was designed, all the way back in 1989.

STORY

Yeah. Girls aren't allowed to play Ninjas. 

Before Ninja Gaiden, games rarely had any focus on story. Maybe you got a hint of a backstory in the game's manual, but very few plot points were ever delivered in-game. Ninja Gaiden changed all that. Your primary motivation is to avenge the death of your father. But after beating each level, you're treated to one of these beautifully directed cutscenes which dished out twist after turn almost flawlessly. 

Not only did these story segments look incredible for the time, but the script was actually translated properly into English. It's not Shakespeare, but its certainly light years away from "All Your Base Are Belong to Us!" Not a single example of Engrish in the entire game. Very impressed.

The story is indeed one of the coolest things about Ninja Gaiden, it's unfortunate that it's buried in our memories under the relentless difficulty.

GAMEPLAY

F those eagles, man. F em. 

Ninja Gaiden shows incredible precision in game design. Everything you do feels immidiately responsive and reactive. Your sword is quick and deadly. Your jumps land exactly where you want them, and special moves and projectile weapons work with the basic mechanics to create a beautiful harmony of elegant gameplay. 

The difficulty curve is fairly sharp, however. After the first level of introducing the player to the basic mechanics of the game, you are then subjected to the two biggest flaws in this game's design: 

1) Respawning enemies

2) Bottomless pit deaths

These two flaws work in tandem to ruin your entire life. Let me explain. 

Every enemy in this game has a spawn point - a specific location where it will appear. If you kill that enemy, move away and then come back to that same point, it will reappear - over and over again to infinity. This is particularly infuriating when you are near a bottomless pit, think you've killed something, take a step back to get up to jumping speed and are killed by by bumping into the stupid thing which you've already killed. 

To beat this game, you have to know exactly what you're doing at all times. No hesitations, no second guesses. You have to be 100% confident and make no mistakes. In a way, that adds to the mystique of the experience. Everyone has heard that training to become an actual Ninja is one of the hardest things any human can do - so why not make a game about a Ninja extremely demanding on the players reflexes and responses? 

When you do master everything and blow through a level like nobody's business, there isn't quite a better feeling. The word accomplishment doesn't even begin to capture the feeling of beating this game and mastering its devilish levels. It was hard as hell, and I loved every second of it. 

PRESENTATION

 Comin to getchu, son.

The actual in-game graphics aren't anything to write home about. Merit must be awarded for the game running smoothly for the entire length, with little frame rate dips or disappearing sprites. But overall, it's not anything that you hadn't seen before on the NES. 

 But the story cutscenes are where it was at. Back in the NES days, graphics were king. If you bought a game with sweet-ass pixels, all your friends were totally jealous. And any friend who saw Ninja Gaiden's beautifully detailed and film-noire inspired cutscenes in your console would surely be eating a piece of the old humble pie.

STUFF I LOVED: 

• Insane story-based cutscenes. Revolutionary for the time, and still impressive today. 
• Pitch perfect control. Ryu always moved exactly where you wanted him to. 
• Feeling of absolute accomplishment when you do everything right and beat it once and for all.    

STUFF I HATED:

• BRUTAL difficulty. While it did make you feel good for beating it, there were MANY spiked controllers on the way to the final screen. 
• Cheap deaths and respawning enemies. It's just not fair.

In the end, I am probably most proud to have this one on my "Finished" pile. It's a badge of honor I can wear with my nerd friends and to be able to finally tell them that I beat Ninja Gaiden.

Review in Ten Words or Less: 
Perfect gameplay. Brutal difficulty. Awesome story.

Fiction Fixers - Adventures in Wonderland

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Key Game Features
* A fantastic journey through Wonderland
* Voice work for every character
* Beautiful hidden object scenes
* Over a dozen mini-games and puzzles
* Tutorial

System Requirements
Windows 2000/XP/Vista/7 /
1 GHz CPU / 1024 MB RAM /
DirectX 9.0c

The Treasures of Mystery Island: The Gates of Fate

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Key Game Features
* 14 chapters
* 56 locations
* 50 mini-games
* 256 quest items
* 15 animated cutscenes

System Requirements
Windows XP, Vista or 7 /
Pentium 4 or Athlon 1.5 GHz /
256 MB RAM /
128 MB 3D video card /
500 MB hard drive space /
DirectX 9.0 or later

Virtual Farm 2

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Key Game Features
* Eight crops to grow
* Ten factories to build
* Ten products to produce
* Ten upgrades for the factories
* Learn-as-you-play tutorial

System Requirements
Windows XP or later /
750 MHz processor /
128 MB RAM /
32 MB 3D video card

Finished: Ninja Gaiden!!

I did it!!!

Completion Time: 12:27
Friends I'm About to Tell Off: All of them

Holy crap. I can not believe I beat this thing. What an amazing feeling. I seriously feel like I may be the only person in the world who's beaten it. You out there reading this. Have YOU beaten Ninja Gaiden? Tell me off in the comments if you have.

But you probably haven't so BOOM!

I seriously feel like having a party and calling my parents - it's like I'm having a baby. That's how excited I am about this.

Review coming shortly.

The Man Who Searched for Fear part 15

 (* Artwork © Look and Learn Ltd. Reprinted by permission.)

The Man Who Searched for Fear part 14

 (* Artwork © Look and Learn Ltd. Reprinted by permission.)

So Effing Close: Ninja Gaiden

I've made it farther than I ever have before.

The final boss has three forms. Each more insane than the last. Now remember, if you die on the boss, the trap door is triggered and you are sent back to the beginning of Level 6 - by far one of the hardest levels in video game history. If - however - you beat the first form of the boss, and then die, the next time you reach the final chamber you start with the second form of the boss. I have beaten the first and second forms and have gotten the third form down to like two hit points. And then it sent me all the way back to the beginning.

I can't tell you how infuriating that is.

The up side is that being forced to run Level 6 again and again has given me a mastery over the devious, cheap kill fest.

Once again The Angry Video Game Nerd sums it up nicely.

Tags: GameTrailers.com, ScrewAttack - Angry Video Game Nerd: Ninja Gaiden, PC Games, PlayStation 3, Xbox 360

The Man Who Searched for Fear part 13

As it has been a little while since I ran one of these stories, newcomers might like to skip back to the first episode which outlined the premise. The whole series can be found here, in reverse so the early episodes start at the bottom of the page.

(* Artwork © Look and Learn Ltd. Reprinted by permission.)

John Creasey's Dr Palfrey (Department Z5)

I was a huge fan of John Creasey when I was a kid. When I was young, I used to read a lot of books that my Dad read as he often had paperbacks sitting around; he was a fan of the Inspector West novels and I, too, became a fan. But the ones that I loved were the Doctor Palfrey novels. Our local library let me have an adult ticket when I was still very young as I'd read my way through everything

J. Weedon Birch

J. Weedon Birch is a name I come back to regularly. I've never read a word of his writings but he intrigues me because he was a prolific writer, a publisher and, mostly, because I've not been able to find a trace of him. I've spent hours — days even — trying to find just the tiniest slither of official documentation of his existence, just as others (including Bill Lofts and Derek Adley) did

Arrival of Midnight

Finally, my daughter Midnight has arrived. Born on Cherry St, on my brother's land. As for some odd reason, the gods that would be, had prevented the birth of my daughter on family grounds, at Demon Dominion. Talil assisted as the delivery nurse, sister of Kali. And I was present to support my pet, and courage her to give birth to our daughter.

The birthing took place underground, on top of a pentagon altar. It was predetermined this how it should be, my daughter with the support of the magical essence from the depths of Hell, to make her a strong warrior and seductress, to cause chaos and havoc in the human world.

I summoned for witnesses, and they came to view her birth. Kali boar down, and wend up biting her tongue, as she felt one of the most painful events of her demonic existence, when Midnight emerged from her mother's womb. Mochakat, Piper, and Cheyenne congratulated us, as they started to honor and say her name loudly; "Welcome to this world Midnight!!! May your presence cause mayhem and limitless evil against the humans!!!"

I soon cut the umbilical cord, as Midnight was placed shortly on the belly of her mother Kali, by Talil. I could not help but lick my lips, and show my teeth with joy. I flicked my demonic tongue to taste, and smell to recognized my daughter, as Kali hisses...at me. Warming me not to harm our baby. As demon males, are known to snatch new borns from careless mothers, and eating their own offspring.

As soon as we were done on my brother's land. We headed back home to our family lair, at Demon Dominion. There, I know the nursery was ready to receive our baby infant. I looked at the butcher table, to make good use of it for today.

I soon had my turn at holding my daughter. I walked towards a butcher table, which I have a new born human baby on it, I took earlier in the day from a woman. I pulled on the lever, and sharp blades quickly killed the infant. We the slices I made shortly after, I gave my daughter slices of infant meat, that she enjoyed greedily taking from my fingers. I am pleased to see she has a good appetite for human flesh, and will be ravenous for more as she grows up.

I gave her back to her mother, as well wishes from the family came by to see our child. My sister Hateful was one of the first few, then Kammie, Jessica, and again Mochakat paid her respects to Midnight, and Kali.

Kali was soon tired and took our daughter to the baby's room. A secret room in the family home, to make sure they get the rest they need, and away from the screams that will be heard on the butcher table, as human flesh will be used to nourish my demonic child.

And I am just starting to grow my family. I will enjoy having more offsprings, and look forward to impregnate a few more of my pets.

Still Playing: Ninja Gaiden

In a single sitting, I made my way all the way to the final boss. And then I remembered why I couldn't beat it. If you die while fighting the final boss, you are sent three levels back. And these are the hardest three levels of the game. And its not even getting sent back from using a continue - if you die once while fighting the last boss - even with 50 lives - you are sent back. It's infuriating.

Everyone's been saying that I can't beat this game, and I'm starting to believe them. That last boss is unreal.

#1 Rated Epic Black Ops Aimbot

Muliplayer/Single Player

PS3, Xbox360, PC

Our Black Ops Hack is getting super popular and we just released a new version today. Our Black Ops Hacks now include no recoil, meaning you can fire from the hip or aimed without the gun moving at all or the screen shaking. We also included no spread, meaning you can lock on with the aimbot without aiming the sniper rifle and kill someone on the other side of the map. Think that’s great? Try our Black Ops Hacks with a pistol, take out the entire enemy team with pistol shots to the head.

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 September
Updated Features:

Aimbot:
- AimThru (Automatic, Visibility, Crosshair, Distance)
- AimAt (Head, Neck, Spine)
- Bonescan (scans a visible bone starting from the head down to feet).
- Visibility Check
- Autoswitch (switches automatically to next target when the current target is dead)
- Autoshoot (automatically shoots for you. Can be set to only shoot when target is visible)
- AutoBot (Automatically aims for you and shoots if you have autoshoot enabled)
- Aim at Friendlies
- 360 FOV
- NO SPREAD (Bullets Hit Dead Center)
- NO RECOIL (Weapon Doesn't Move or Shake When Fired)
- NO SWAY (Rifles Don't Sway)
- Unlimited Energy
- Fly Hack (Fly Anywhere and No Clip)
- Unlimited Ammo
- Draw Fps
- Draw Time
- Draw Resolution
- Crosshair - 6 different types of crosshairs ( colors customizable! )

Settings:
- Golden Clan Tags + Names (If You Want Them)

- Can Host Xp Lobbies (In Private Match For Rank)

 

JTAG IS NOT NEEDED

Comic Cuts - 24 June 2011

Not a lot to report as I've spent the week trying to get as far ahead with work as I possibly could ahead of the big shutdown and migration. The bit of wire I ordered arrived but I'm not convinced it's the right one! I'm now waiting on a visit from someone who knows what they're doing before I do anything else.

Meanwhile, I'm doing another major backup of everything on the old computer, which I

One Year Anniversary Post!

The Game Adventure has been going strong for exactly one year today. In the past year I've seen the endings of 21 games which I've never seen before. That may be a paltry number to some, but for me it's huge. I'm used to beating maybe five games a year - so it feels like a really great accomplishment. If I keep going at this rate, it should take me about two more years to finish everything. That's a while, isn't it?

And since we're feeling nostalgic, let's take a look at some of the best and worst of this past year.

Good: 
a boy and his blob (Wii)
Batman Arkham Asylum
Super Metroid
Portal 2

Bad: 
360 Biting the Dust
Corrupt memory while playing Beyond Good and Evil
My battle with Geometry Wars
Kingdom Hearts 2

Best Moment:
Finally beating Zelda II

Worst Moment: 
Every second of Donkey Kong Country 
 

I'm excited for the year ahead. I've still got a ton of great games in my backlog, and I'm looking forward to finally being in control of my collection.

Ken MacLeod cover gallery

Ken MacLeod is a Scottish SF author, one of the wave of British authors who began appearing in the 1990s that include Charles Stross, Stephen Baxter, Peter F. Hamilton, Alastair Reynolds and Adam Roberts. A fine writer who deserves a gallery here. I also like cover artist Lee Gibson and ran a little gallery of the 'Engines of Light' trilogy hardcover jackets back in June 2008.

What actually

New computer falls at first hurdle

Well, I've got the new computer and spent most of the evening checking to see what I needed to do before switching it on as this is the first time I've tried to get a computer working by myself. I've had about five computers in total: I bought my first one in 1990. It had a 30mb hard drive and the previous owner proudly told me I'd never need to buy another computer because there was so much

Arthur A. Dixon

I've just started working on a new series of features for the Look and Learn blog looking at some of the artists whose work appears in the picture library. As there are over 11,000 artists represented in the library, it should keep me going for some while, especially as there is almost nothing known about some of them. Take, for instance, Arthur A. Dixon, who gets five lines in the Dictionary of

Frederick E. Smith and 633 Squadron

633 Squadron was the best-selling 1956 novel by Frederick E. Smith, in which a RAF Mosquito squadron undertakes a seemingly impossible mission to bomb a well-protected German factory at the head of a Norwegian fjord. The novel was successfully filmed in 1964.

Smith has written nine sequels to the original 633 Squadron, starting with the 1975 Operation Rhine Maiden and followed, in sequence, by

Here they are!

Boys at start, prepared to cheer on DAD!
Scott finishes his swim, thumbs up to his fans

I couldn't get any bike pics, but this is him exiting the transition zone and now starting his 5k.

THE HOME STRETCH

The stud and his boys :)

Please Hold: Burnout 3

Yeah - I gotta take a break. I have been avoiding playing this game for weeks now. It's not that it's bad or boring, it's just so tedious. For the time being, this will remain in my PS2 and I will periodically jump in and collect a few medals between other games in the backlog.

As for my next game, it's one I've been talking about starting for a while. A game that many have warned is literally impossible to beat. Most of my friends have no faith that I can beat this one. Of course I'm talking about the legendary...

Wish me luck...

Mahjongg Artifacts 2

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Key Game Features
* The complete Quest mode
* 99 levels in Classic mode
* Unlimited time in Endless mode
* Five tile sets
* Free upgrades to newer versions
* Full technical and customer support

System Requirements
PIII-750 /
128M RAM /
3D Video 32M

World Mosaics 3: Fairy Tales

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Key Game Features
* 100 extra puzzles
* 12 classic fairy tales retold
* Over 150 Story mode puzzles
* In-game tutorial
* Tips & tricks

System Requirements
Windows XP/Vista/7 /
1 GHz CPU / RAM (MB): 1024 MB /
Hard disk space needed: 175 MB /
Graphics card: Hardware Accelerated
DirectX Version: 9.0c