Freaking out

I delivered tomorrow. TOMORROW... in my last pregnancy. It was 34 weeks and 1 day that my water broke and the labor began. From beginning to end, I labored for 3 hours TOPS (i know, don't be mad at me your double digit labor-ers!). That being said, it was INTENSE labor the whole time (yeah, like what part of labor ISN'T intense, but you know what i mean), since I was already 4-5 centimeters when the whole thing began.

So, to address the title of this blog, I am FREAKING OUT after tonight's hospital tour. It suddenly dawned on Scott and me this past week that we didn't know a) where to park, b) where to go, or c) what to expect when the upcoming process unfolds. So we scheduled tonight's tour of the labor and delivery and post-birth floors. The guide's presentation included a short run down of birthing accesories (ball, bar, bath tub, etc) and talk about the different "stages" of labor.

WHAT???

We learned all that stuff in a labor and delivery class the first time around, but it wasn't until tonight that I fully recognized how UNUSUAL our first labor was. There was NO TIME for music or movies or massaging or balls or walking or positions. There were no STAGES. It was bing-batta-boom. And before I knew it, I was being rolled into an OR for the pushing part.

So - what I'm saying is - if what I experienced in 3 hours will likely be drawn out to 8, 10, 14, 20 hours, I may not make it.

But on the flip side, I keep reminding myself of the positives of this hopefully more typical birthing process: baby on my chest immediately after delivery and even breast feeding if he wants to, baby stays in room with me if I want him to, pumping not necessary, etc, etc. I won't need to visit HIM. He gets to be with us! What a convenience. Although, rest assured, I will be taking advantage of the free babysitting the nursery provides when I need a nap or two. Ha.

So I'm pumped and freaked in ways that I didn't expect this second time around. Then again, does it EVER get old?